... they aren't merely mistaken, they're dead wrong...
North Star* just forwarded everyone a statement from the Matis family. In it, the parents of Stuart Matis requests that any activities planned by those wishing to remember the 10th anniversary of Stuart's suicide be canceled. They feel any such activities would detract from the Stuart's wish for change.
This is so, so wrong. Where do I even begin?
THE FAMILY OF AN ICON HAS NO SAY ON HOW OTHERS VIEW THE ICON.
Sorry, but it's true. Stuart is a symbol now. Be it martyr or victim there is nothing his parent's can expect except to draw more attention to the event.
THE FAMILY IS MISTAKEN ABOUT THE CHANGE STUART WANTED.
Mr. and Mrs. Matis don't expressly say what Stuart wanted. They do say that a rally is not how Stuart would want to change things. They also say "...he was also an intensely private person. It was in quiet, unobtrusive ways that he made his biggest impact on others."
He blew his brains out on the steps of the Stake Center. That IS NOT how a "intensely private person" effects change in a "quiet, unobtrusive" way.
THE FAMILY IS SERIOUSLY F---ED IN THE HEAD.
They claim to understand so much about gay Latter-day Saints. They claim to have spoken to many gay latter-Day Saints. They claim to talk to other members about the needs of gay Latter-Day Saints.
Those claims are all true. I've been to the firesides at their house so I can confirm this first-hand.
But this is also the family that wrote in a book they authored, "Although losing our son was difficult, it has been comforting to know that he was faithful to his temple covenants." (p 20).
Comforting? Comforting to know that your son, all his potential grandchildren, and all your would-have-been family memories of his adulthood are ALL DEAD. But, hey, at least he didn't date some dude!
So maybe they don't understand gays so well. They even dust-off the old chestnut of "same-gender attraction" instead of just acknowledging their son was g-a-y GAY.
And they are wrong, wrong, wrong about finding comfort in Stuart's death. There's NO comfort in Stuarts death. There's NO silver lining. It is pure, epic tragedy.
The failure of the Stuart's parents to see that is beyond the pale. It is disgusting. Filthy. Putrid.
SILENCE IS MURDER.
The planned event is the opposite of silence. It can only save lives. If you live anywhere nearby I would hope you attend.
And light a candle. You know, for Stuart.
*Not the gay rodeo association.
+++
good video.
About Me
- playasinmar
- Politically minded and casually dressed, I weathered the storms of adolescent stupidity mostly unscathed. I now seek a better understanding of who and why I am.
3 comments:
I think you've hit it right on the head. They're definitely entitled to remember Stuart the way they want to, but to try to control how everyone else sees what he did is wrong; especially when it's twisted into something meaningless and so pro-church.
I don't know how many people saw "8: The Mormon Proposition", but there's a track on the soundtrack for it called "Stuart Matis".
The soundtrack is on iTunes, but you can listen to the track without paying for it on the composer's website at the following address:
http://www.nicholasgreer.com/music/pages/8_the_mormon_proposition.html
I agree with you that death, or in this case, suicide, should be worse than what the church would consider to be a sexual sin. Personally, if my son were gay, I would rather that he "live in sin" than end his life. But, I'm gay, so I have a better understanding. If the church could only be a little more understanding. Doctrinally, sexual sins are not more agregious than murder, although the church doesn't consider suicide murder like some other churches.
However, as family, they have every right to request that their son's name not be used, whether or not Stuart would have wanted it that way.
They are well within their rights, yes. It would be odd if they didn't make the request.
But he isn't their icon anymore. He belongs to the greater community now. If they don't want to participate then great; they don't have to.
But they had best resign themselves to Stuart's role. Insanity is trying to change what won't change.
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