22 August 2007

Hamsters*

you can read about these and many more words at m-w.com

Handicap

Function: noun

1 a : a race or contest in which an artificial advantage is given or disadvantage imposed on a contestant to equalize chances of winning b : an advantage given or disadvantage imposed usually in the form of points, strokes, weight to be carried, or distance from the target or goal
2 a : a disadvantage that makes achievement unusually difficult b sometimes offensive : a physical disability

Hamstring

Function: transitive verb

1 : to make ineffective or powerless : CRIPPLE
2 : to cripple by cutting the leg tendons

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I submit for your consideration: a gay Mormon male isn’t handicapped. For to believe homosexuality to be a “disadvantage that makes achievement unusually difficult” is to believe that God sent me to Earth with a disadvantage that blocks life’s supreme achievement; such being marriage for all eternity.

Rather, I submit that gay Mormons are hamstrung; having been severed from their basic God-given needs for intimate companionship. Needs that could easily be obtained for there is no physical disability to prevent such happiness and contentment.

*This post was inspired by Neal.* Thank you, Neal. I’ve been kicking this post around in my head for a while now.

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good tune
http://djpretzel.web.aplus.net/songs/Bomberman_Bomberfuzz_OC_ReMix.mp3

5 comments:

Chris said...

I agree completely.

-L- said...

I've been kicking around a post comparing gays to leprous fat handicapped cancer patients. What do you think?

MoHoHawaii said...

No need, -L-, the Republican party is way, way ahead of you on that one. :-)

MoHoHawaii said...

P.S. Amen, Playa.

GeckoMan said...

Let's see, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade... how about hamster-powered gokarts for hamstrung homos. . . an 'alternative' answer for 'green' accessibility.

Would Republicans fund this, though?