I mean if I was born a sinner why not really go for it?
"Love the sinner; hate the sin" is a sort of sum-total of biblical scripture. Jesus never said it but everyone seems to think he did. Can you imagine if that was an exact quote? A biblical precedent for hatred! Saints be praised!
Really, I can't find anything about hate in the Saviors' teachings. Understandably, one might expect the straight and narrow lifestyle to requires one to avoid those who rest far from the saintly path. Quite the opposite is true. Jesus went out of his way to teach all manner of sinners. He associated with publicans and harlots. He deliberately passed through Accursed Samaria just to talk to Accursed Samaritans!
"When ecclesiastical leaders profess to love the sinner while hating the sin, the indictment that we are sinners by nature leaves so many gays and lesbians feeling helpless and hopeless."
- Frank Morris Susa
It is understandable that those taught a higher law would feel higher than the uneducated.* Even those who traveled with Jesus and saw these things were surprised to find out that they would be teaching the gospel to gentiles.
I guess "love the sinner; hate the sin" means to say "love one another; don't condone their sins." After all, Jesus said "Go and sin no more."
The division between the gay and straight members in a family boils down to how each person views homosexuality. Is it a sin? Is it a mortal state? Perhaps we should agree to [never come to a consensus] and perhaps we should strive to be willing to associate with those whom Jesus would not cast out.
*Try holding a pleasant conversation with a college philosophy professor.