04 February 2007

Defining the Definable

but since I am a virgin by any measure...

I wonder if I should just leave the Church on principle. It would be easy, I think. I simply confess my homosexuality to my bishop. Would he move to excommunicate me? Could they excommunicate a virgin homosexual? At the very least I would be summoned to a disciplinary council. They would make wild accusations against me and I would simply refuse to comment on my personal sex life. Sans corporeal evidence I would likely be disfellowshipped. A change in membership status that lasts for one year.

An unrepentant homosexual who refuses to comment on his sex life; It is here I make my stand.

They demand I go to social services but I refuse. They seek evidence against me. They ask those closest to me but there is be no witness to an act that never occured. Does someone come forward and lie? To save the church from a filthy homo, will someone claim they saw me do something? I desperately want to love and be loved in return. Do I have the self-control stay a total and complete virgin until the trial is over? Can I sacrifice just a little more happiness to stand as a martyr before friends and family?* Is that what I really want?

After the 'council of love’ I would be free to pursue some measure of comfort in my personal life. Knowing that I was expelled from the Mormon church by an unjust trial would cement two things that are sometimes shaky. First, the church is indeed imperfect. Second, it is run by mortals bound by their own prejudices and learning of the day.

*In my fantasy scenario my family receives notices I mail them reading, "You are cordially invited to attend the excommunication of a faithful Mormon."


good tune

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