27 June 2007

Complete Idiots

i'm on vacation this week so here's a little treat from the intertube's foremost humorist, seanbaby

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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being Vegetarian

Vegetarianism has baffled people for many years. Underwear labels and their singing, dancing fruit have all but destroyed the line we were once able to draw between vegetable and animal. To save you $20, 352 pages and a trip to the bookstore, idiots looking to become vegetarians can read the following sentence, after this one. In general, the key to being a vegetarian is this: If your food would at one point have tried to eat you and you are not fertilizer, send it back.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Self-Esteem

I understand and acknowledge that the term ''Complete Idiot'' in the titles of these books might be a cute nickname for people who only suffer from partial idiocy, but when a person is trying to improve their self-esteem with a book, the last thing they need is to get called names every single time they do it. That's like throwing a raging kegger for recovering alcoholics or printing fitness tips on a hot dog. If keeping the ''Complete Idiot'' brand name in the title was so important to the author, it should have been called ''Enhancing Self-Esteem for the Complete Idiot Who May Also Have Interesting Hobbies and Pleasant Breath.''

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You can catch the rest of the article here.

2 comments:

iwonder said...

*sigh*

Will you never learn how to spell?

i'm on vacation this week so here's a little treat from the intertube's foremost humorist, seanbaby

I know that you meant to say:

"i'm on holiday this week, so here's a little treat from the intertube's foremost humourist, seanbaby."

When will you ever learn?

I am so disappointed.

*sigh*

J G-W said...

Thanks for the belly laugh this morning... The Noah cartoon got me started, and it went right downhill from there. My partner and I are both vegetarians in search of self-esteem, and the clarifications were very helpful.